What No One Told You About Yourself..


As my first my blog post, my first thing to do was look at a few blogs and see how they started off their blogs…to only come to realise that actually, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I’m going to be and do me. Afterall that’s what my blogs’ all about isn’t it? Being true to oneself.

hot spring surrounded by gorgeous trees with green, red and yellow leaves under the sunlightSo here we are.

Have you ever come across different websites/blogs ect.. and thought to yourself; ‘Hmmm I could swear that I’ve read that before’  well the truth is that you probably have.

Why? Because what’s happening now is that people are mimicking each other whether consciously or unconsciously. I could almost be accused of that myself..*briefly hides face* As I was about to start writing, without realising it, I noticed that I was actually echoing off titles I’d read many times before off in my head, till I thought ‘wait a sec’ that’s not ‘me’. I want to sound like myself and not someone else that I’ve read many times before.

So I started again as I would, as though I were chatting to a best friend and this is what your reading now.

Here I am in my comfortable ‘home clothes’ as I call them, sitting down on the sofa in my room with my laptop on my lap listening to ‘Indaco’ by Ludovico Einaudi. *feels relaxed as the calm tones course through me*


The truth is; everyone has a completely different voice and yes reading does help us realise things within us we possibly didn’t realise was there before.. yet if you dig way deep down inside yourself you’d see that you can and will bring out your true self. True thoughts. True beliefs and more.

In a sense, in a lot of aspects of our lives we have to talk, walk, and act a certain way which in some cases even pushes us towards thinking a certain way.

Yet think about it for a minute…why must we do that?

And should we adopt it for ourselves? No. I think not.

The next time you ever find yourself doing, saying or acting a way that isn’t you, put on your breaks and think to yourself; this isn’t me. It isn’t who I am deep down inside my heart and I’m going to stop doing anything that contradicts how I actually am and start acting more as myself.

Soon, you’ll find it comes naturally.

No more pretences. Uncomfortable moments. Inner conflicts.

By the end of the day you’ll be happy and relieved that you remained true to yourself.

Out of curiosity..do you know just how special you are?

Are there two of ‘you’ in the world?

Is there anyone exactly like ‘you’ in the world?

With your unique voice, features, flaws & perfections?

No. ever wondered why?

Because contrary to prior belief, your existence and every single detail about you does matter.

You make up this world. Yeah there are so many of us, it’s easy to feel kinda small or lost at times yet when all is done this world wouldn’t be a world without you!

So give yourself a break during those times when you become your harshest critic. That’s normal. Necessary if anything. After all where would we be as a human race if we never saw shortcomings within ourselves to give us room to improve in some way or other?

Don’t only love yourself. Adore yourself. Revel in yourself. Embrace and appreciate every single thing about you. every blemish. Every hair. Every bodily feature.

Now it’s fine to want, though you don’t need that extra make up kit or electronic gadget to help make your world just that much better. Why? Because you’re bloody perfect exactly the way you are! Everyone knows it. And if anyone ever tries to say otherwise, that’s because they are so unhappy within their own selves that they have a need to take comfort in other people’s misery.

Misery loves company, remember?!

Don’t let that get to you. Truth is that at times, people may get jealous of another persons’ confidence and ability to persevere that they secretly wish they were more ‘like you’ even though they may not even know it on the surface.

Everyone secretly looks for more Love, Understanding, Acceptance, Sex, and Intimacy.

Remember that the next time someone acts the bitc*bleep* or bastar*bleep*.

Tell me what you think ? Do you think that people have misconceptions about themselves and others at times? Let me know what you think in the comments section below and feel free to like and share the page if you enjoyed the read. You can also follow me on Facebook for updates on new content i postI can’t wait to get back to you with some more original ‘jay material’ *wink wink*.




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3 comments on “What No One Told You About Yourself..
  1. Katelyn says:

    Howdy Jay,

    Isn’t it funny that sometimes as human beings we aren’t ever satisfied? It occurred to me as I was reading your article that while we may not be satisfied we simply suck it up. I believe that this stems from two points:
    1. It’s very scary to truly go after what we really want deep down when we’ve stripped away all of our walls and barricades to protect ourselves.
    2. It’s much easier to stay where we are at.
    For example, when I was in high school everyone would say “I hate this town so much that I’m going to leave as soon as I get the chance!” Most people said this but they never actually went through with it. In fact, when my class graduated I believe only five students (myself included) we’re going to college that was more than five or six hours away making it very difficult for them to return home on a weekly basis. It was so rare in this town that when I went to go get this piece of paper signed I had a teacher tell me, “You’re a smart girl. Don’t ever come back here!” As you can imagine I was shocked to hear this, but I believe that he was one of the only people that really believed me when I said that I hated the place so much that I wasn’t even going to look at schools anywhere close!

    You see, since my family has moved around a fair amount over the years, when we moved to this town where most residents were born, raised, and most likely will die, my family in general wasn’t very accepted. My father had a brutal time at work with many people who were vindictive and hateful of the change that he was brought aboard to really encourage. My sister was bullied relentlessly. At some point the bullying was so bad that people started fights with her for seemingly no reason or over rumors. She even once got a call from someone who was suppose to be her friend that said, “You should just go f***ing kill yourself right now!” While not as bad as my sister, I was talked about just about all the time. Teachers and students alike would start rumors that I slept with a man whom I never had any kind of romantic or sexual interest in and regardless of whether him or I told people that we weren’t having sex they would simply look at us and say, “You don’t have to deny it, we know you are.” At some point, I received the nickname The Bitch (I’m not totally sure how this came about really).

    I must admit though, that since I have moved so much that I sometimes forget that not everyone has and that it really is a terrifying idea when one takes into account the massive amounts of uncertainty and unknown that comes with moving. Yet, the idea of not moving and staying in one place (in a place that I really love of course!) does have a certain appeal. Sometimes, I really do fantasize what it must be like to actually know your hairdresser (you know like they do in the movies) and really know the people at the grocery store and to have best friends with my children’s parents. Sometimes, I even think who I would be if I hadn’t moved so much. Sometimes my dad even thinks about it. Yet, I feel like living in various places has given me this kind of perspective and appreciation for life that I don’t imagine I would have had I not experienced so much uncertainty with respect to where I would be living.

    I really love the way that you write. It’s got such a different feel than many other people. I noticed that while I would proof read some people’s paper in high school and even in college, that all too often if there weren’t a name on it that I could probably never say “This is distinctly so and so’s.” I notice this even with music. So much of popular music sounds the same to me. It’s refreshing to have come across a blog that focuses more so on what is really in the writer’s heart and what their feelings are in the moment, than necessarily having a specific “I must accomplish this” kind of feel. Those blogs or writing styles are nice at times, but I also find that I can tire of those kinds of writing styles. So thank you for writing in your own voice! It’s incredibly rare for me to come across. In fact, sometimes I feel like I’m guilty of writing how I think I’m suppose to write. Though do we really ever HAVE to do anything? It is my personal belief that we don’t have to do anything, but rather that we make our own choices. At times though these choices can seem foggy or nonexistent.
    Isn’t it really beautiful that we have all of these choices and yet we have to really dig deep to make the choice that is best for us at that point in time in our lives?
    I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I believe that we have all of these different types of airs or egos (you know how like rock stars say they have stage egos or stage personalities). All of these personalities serve us in some way shape or form. As my friend likes to say, “Sometimes you just have to bring the bitch out.” Now, I’m not saying that we should all just go around and treat people poorly. I’m not saying that all. What I mean is that each persona allows us to do things with less anxiety or less guilt than perhaps one of our other personas would.

    Hope life is treating you well,


    • jay says:

      Hi Katelyn, awwww i was practically sad, then smiling then laughing by the end of your post. gosh you really light up my day sometimes. Sorry to hear of the hardships u all went through…its nice to know we arent the only ones. alot of the time when people spread rumours like that its out of jealousy like renee said, falseness craves authenticity remember?! so if thats u then they’ll flock to u in droves. They wish to be like you so much that they’ll hate both u and themselves for wishing it. disgusting really.

      u r brave for moving out when u said u would and your right about the different options that we’re faced with, it can be challenging choosing sometimes. yes i also think that it may b due to the fact that u moved and were exposed to different things why (from what i can tell of u) that u come across as a real genuine individual full of love. which is refreshing to come across. and yes like u said do we ‘have’ to do anything? good Q.

      Thanks so much for your words on my writing, i always worry that im too serious and yet thats totally me and so i wouldnt change it for the world! Its so ironic that you'd say that Kat, because just today i was thinking of that EXACT THING! great minds think alike ^_^

      I was thinking how its funny that with the people i enjoy reading, they are really good in some areas, and i dont enjoy their writing in others. for example, with Renee Wade i literally cant get enough of her blog posts! when i 1st started really getting into her site…it would be all 1am in the morning and my eyes would be drooping as i use toothpicks to prop them open like Tom(&jerry) *alright not really but im sure u get my drift* lol and i would literally fight with my eye lids to help me keep reading on even though I could simply close it and come back to it when i awake!

      yet it would be so captivating that I'd be adamant on finishing it there and then! then i'd be tempted to move on to her next post so that in the end i wouldnt end up in bed until all 3:00 in the morning! lol

      then there are her free e-book program things (im still new with the terminologies) i downloaded one once, and i couldnt tell u how many times i attempted to read it, over 4 i think and though forcing myself to read my attention kept wandering till i gave up altogether! haha and since i have only limited my addiction to her content to her blog articles that i simply cant get enough of!

      then there is a guy called Michael Fiore, now he writes on relationships and it was his short program/e-book (the 1st that i’d ever paid for before and possibly the last). and u know what? it was captivating i absolutely loved how he wrote and i was constantly in stitches laughing! after finishing his program, i checked out his website to find out that he does recordings instead of writing that much. ie listened to a few and even read a few articles he’s written yet nothing came close to the program he put out!

      then theres another guy called Kevin i think (discovered him just today) and i enjoy reading his articles and yet when i took a peek into his book, i couldnt stay focused. I basically realised today that people have very different ways of doing diff things that includes their writing methods! lol

      ooo and as a plus I’m so happy about your blog Katelyn, i enjoy reading your content too. type which ever way u feel suits u, as long as it comes from your heart u have untouchable stuff! next step is to get readers which isnt easy yet doable somehow. i think lol

      Thanks Katelyn


      • Katelyn says:

        Howdy Jay!
        I can relate to what it’s like to feel completely absorbed and fascinated into someone’s piece, but then when it comes to another piece of theirs just not be able to really concentrate on it or you get so far but then your mind wonders off into some other direction. I find that my mind tends to wonder if I am watching an educational kind of program. For example, after I went through Renee’s program Understanding Men, I decided that I was going to go through it again so that I could really understand a man’s needs in a relationship, his fear, desires, etc. The first time through I was totally into it and my mind never wondered. However, on the second time through, I find that my mind likes to wonder or nit pick at minor details.
        Thanks so much for the other blog references. I will totally check it out! I’ve actually really been wanting to find a blog written by a man on relationships. I’ve decided that in order for me to be truly compassionate to my man in a relationship, that I should really understand a man’s perspective (in general). I’m not sure if you are subscribed to Renee’s free newsletter, but David has started his own blog. You can check it out here at http://www.commitmenttriggers.com.
        I have noticed that my writing style really depends on what I am doing and what my mood is at the given moment. If I am writing academically for school (such as a research proposal) I put a great amount of research into what is already known about a particular subject and what would be interesting to learn about. I’m really curious as to how our hormones affect how our brains wire. For example, in my psychology class last fall semester we talked about how the basal ganglia (I believe it was this part of the brain though I wouldn’t quote me on that lol) is filled with testosterone receptors and that this is in part why men can be so aggressive. So if I were writing a research proposal I would really look into what all we know about how hormones affect the wiring of the brain. However, when I write on my blog, I have noticed that my emotions have a tendency of directing my style of writing. If I am feeling sarcastic, then the post may come across as more sarcastic in nature.

        Thanks for all the encouragement,



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